I sit at my usual table at the TAMU RELLIS campus do type this update. I say my usual as if it infers some sort of regularity to which I come to this physical place but I have not been here in months. It is a dead zone for me to recruit from but it is a great place to be left alone while still being in a space I am comfortable and can connect to the internet for free.
The holidays are long behind, the spring is soon to be upon us. Perhaps a few more cold snaps will come but the warm days outnumber the cold by a large margin the last month. My boys have become angsty tots having been cooped up inside the house for the winter and chomp at the bit starting a little after the sun comes up to be released into the backyard to terrorize the turf and dirt. My wife, in the time since the last update, started and ended her employment with TAMU. It was quite emotional. Babysitters came and went in uncouth and inconsiderate ways. My wife once again became torn between being home and going to work; being at home eventually being the choice we made and the sacrifice she will have to bear until the kids are off to school. The boys suffered the worst of it, having to see two different babysitters during this time frame and be without mom or dad during the weekday working hours for a few months. In the end, we learned valuable lessons about what we value most and what is really important. God guiding us towards the decision we made.
I now have a tentative projection to report back to the regular Army. This time being assigned to a Combat Aviation Unit. After talking with a few people it may prove to be less exciting that I initially had hoped. I toyed with the idea of calling different companies within the brigade to try and get a slot with them in order to guarantee my pinpoint assignment within the unit. I have decided that I am incapable of making the best decision as both my pride and sense of selfish wisdom will cloud me from seeing the right choice. No matter what, I trust God will guide the rest of my career in the Army. I have chosen, mentally, that I should focus on being the best leader to the soldiers under me and not pursue any selfish desires with Army assignments or schools. Should they be offered to me I will consider it an open door and consider it after prayer.
I have really dug back into photography in the last few months; it has become somewhat of an escape from my job but I think I need to reframe the way I see it. I would like to see photography as not a hobby I have as if it were some skill to master but rather see it as a sort of gift/opportunity from God to help serve His purpose and serve others. I imagine serving at church events by photographing the events and letting the church do what they will with the media. At the same time, taking pictures of my own and interpreting the content to others through a spiritual lens. Anyone can take decent street photos but I think it's how we think about the content that really matters. Some will say that street photography is about capturing a moment, an emotion, a scene, etc. I would like to argue that each street photo can show us, in some form, a problem to pray about, a blessing to praise for, a new way to look at someone or something the way God would like us to see based upon scripture. This is a thought/concept I have been bouncing around in my mind. For the moment, I am just taking photos and posting to Instagram, the only social media I participate. Even so, under a pseudonym.
I feel the urge today to also physically prioritize some thoughts about my life. Not that I am super confused about what needs to be where in the mental totem pole of my priorities but I think I would like to be able to physically see it. Even if it is on a screen. I will not disclose that in this format but a private document.