Here it is, another New Year: 2021. What has changed beyond numbers on the calendar? What resolutions will I make for this new year? Nothing has changed beyond the numerical value of the year and I shall make no resolutions. As many others have made resolutions in the years past I have also failed those resolutions. I don't really think it's healthy to make resolutions, especially life changing ones. It would be like a smoker saying they are going to quit at the end of the month, never to return to a years long, if not a life long habit. Many people think of a new image or a new result for themselves well before the new year starts; they sit in their cozy homes over a nice holiday of Christmas and think to themselves of what the new year will bring and what they should be next year. I have fallen for this trap many years but I stopped all resolutions last new years. I resolve not to resolve you could say. I don't feel like disappointing myself after the inevitable failure and I certainly don't need anything else to contribute to my stress levels.
On the topic of stress and life, I had some thoughts on that the last few days. I dreamt, for a day or two, of buying hundreds of acres in some forested land of America and living free off the land, only to worry about surviving and paying for the bare necessities when the time came. This has seemed like an ideal way to live to me: getting back to real human nature and back to what our bodies were made for. It reminds me of something a co-worker said to me once. This co-worker in the Army was originally from Africa, and he had joined to get citizenship to America in hopes of a better life. While we as Americans look upon the african tribes and harsh living conditions of those who live in the slum cities the man had another perspective I had never thought about, he said, "You know, life in Africa in a way was easier than life here in America. There was less to do, life was simple. Every day I woke up with the sun, or whenever I wanted too. I did my usual work in the fields and with the animals or whatever else I had to do that day and then I would come home. Home was never far from work because I worked at my house. I played with my family and friends, worked on crafts and did whatever I wanted for many hours of the day. My meals were simple but good and I didn't worry about paying this bill or doing anything else but living and doing what I needed to do...".
I, of course, am using these quotations lightly and am attempted to rebuild our conversation in my head. Through my short time in the Army I have trained more soldiers than I can remember. When I train a soldier, I always ask the same basic questions: where are you from? Why did you join the Army? What do you want to do with your life? I ask these things because I do care about the soldier and I want to help guide them in any way I can. I don't remember a lot of the soldiers who I asked these questions but I certainly remember the conversation and the soldier who gave me his perspective on life in the wilderness.
It seems far too easy, buy land, move to it and live on it. But even then, how will you pay your property taxes every year? What if your kids get sick? What if you are mortally ill or wounded, where will you go? Hundreds of questions like that swarm through my mind when I think of this "ideal" off the grid lifestyle. The answer to most of those questions is you deal with it alone and take what breaks you can catch until you die. A steep price to pay for a lifestyle on the extreme. What is the truth on the best lifestyle? Is it really one extreme or the other? Is it in the middle, just taking the best and most ideal aspect of each extreme?..... I don't know and I doubt I ever will know. I think life is just is what you are dealt by the Good Lord and you probably shouldn't try and force a change unless you think it's God's will... I guess I just feel still a little trapped by the Army life and my inability to maintain my current lifestyle outside of the Army and I seek an escape: the ultimate escape of the off grid dream. Alas, I will deal with the mundane, the stressful and non-compatible suburban lifestyle that has been dished out to me. After all, would life really be that much better on the other side? If I ever find out, I resolve to write a book on it. It'll be a grand slam of a book too!