Mastery and acceptance of the inevitable.

     If there is one thing I personally crave from a hobby or an activity is mastery of that hobby or activity. I think that is one thing that drives me to keep trying new things constantly... that is until I find the one hobby that I can master and hopefully turn it into a life's work. But is that just a dream? I live in America and the American dream is get a 9-5 and run your hobbies on the side right? Where are the dreamers who turned their passion and mastery into a profitable work?

    I had my first glass of wine in almost a whole year yesterday. It was great. It was a 2017 cabernet sauvignon from the Napa valley and Mendocino valley. It was dark, complex, and pretty darn good. It lifted my spirits and once again had me dreaming of wine culture. What really fascinates me about wine culture, and what makes me so interested in picking it up as a hobby/research interest is the lifestyle of these winemakers. In beer brewing you can turn a new batch of beer in a few weeks and be on to the next. If a mistake is made either capitalize on the mistake by selling it as a special or dump it. In wine making, real wine making, every year it's on the line. The harvest is going to make or break your vintage if that's kind of wine you make. (champagnes for instance are rarely vintaged and are usually a blend of several harvest years unless that year was exceptionally great.) If your harvest is small that year then you sell less wine. If your harvest is great then you bottle more wine. The terroir of the wine, which is a combination of all the factors that affect the grapes such as sunlight, wind, rain, soil, sand, etc all compound to affect that vintage so much so that trained wine drinkers can pinpoint years and geographic locations based on the taste of the wine and their own knowledge of each region. 

    Wine making is something that is passed down for many generations. There are wine makers in France who are working on passing down to the 12th and 13th generation now. Hundreds of years of mastery being passed down and bottled year after year. What a thing to think about, that this wine we can drink today is probably very similar to the wine drunk by the knights templar, the explorers who mapped the unknown in the 1500's and what not. Yet here I am, in 2021 and I can barely keep a blog going on a weekly, much less a daily, basis. 

    Perhaps I wasn't meant to master anything, but maybe to be a consumer... Well screw that, I want to master something and dammit I won't stop until I do. 

Hobbies: Why Bother Creating?

     The question of why I feel the need to create has been on my mind the last few days. Not that I've really had time to ponder the answer but it certainly comes to mind when I think about my hobbies I want to do and what future endeavors I'll embark on. From a purely logical standpoint my hobbies have cost me more money than money I saved making beer or soap or whatever. Even my motorcycle that gets 100 miles to the gallon will still only save me so much money after I pay it off. I'll have to ride this Honda Grom 5000 miles before it's saved enough money to pay itself off. And then I have to ride it at least a few times a month to work in order to justify the tax and insurance! Regardless, the relentless desire to seek out new hobbies and expand upon the ones I already have is great. But why?

    It is said that creating art is our attempt to portray beauty, to convey an idea, capture an emotion and evoke it in others. What about making soap? Do life long soap makers have a desire, either forefront in their mind or tucked away in the subconscious, to invoke a feeling in other human beings? After all, some create for pure monetary gain. Why create new fast food? Why create images for a marketing business? Some forms of art or creation are just purely motivated by profit. I don't necessarily think that it's wrong. On the contrary, there is an art in itself of creating a new marketing ploy that gets consumers to buy a cheaply made product or sub par service. (Like cable TV or any expensive brand of bleach) 

    There are many artists who despite going into bankruptcy, being homeless or suffering physically at the hands of other people or government still act upon the desire to create. Why are human beings the only living things that feel this need to create to the point of death for the principle of creating? Is it because we are free too, or at least Should be free to create? Is creating a human right? Is the expression of emotion, in some physical form that others can be galvanized by it or for it, a human right as unalienable as the right to life? Perhaps America's founding fathers thought a little bit about this subject as it's the very first bill in the bill of rights that protects our ability to express in speech and in press. But what about the right to express in marble or clay? On canvas with oil or acrylic? What about with soap?

    The censorship of art, other than written word, is a little easier to get away with. Take away the funding for different areas of art and it will diminish from public view. (Such was the case before social media connected everyone I'll imagine.) Movies are a great example of censorship as they are restricted with ratings and certain films of more mature content can't be shown during sensible hours or display such graphic content over public broadcast. Radio, as we all know, prohibits use of swear words and other vulgar terms via the FCC. While this all makes sense as we don't want to expose our kids and other sensitive groups to such language and content, is this form of censorship still too much? Should our ability to express, and more importantly to consume, be restricted by anybody but the individual? After all, I know that certain TV shows expose me to more mature and often vulgar content than what I would want. By simply not consuming that show with my viewership I can self regulate. Does this mean that billboards could or should be plastered with obscene images or language for the sake of advertising? Sex sells as they say, and I can't imagine too many people would be happy seeing erotic images to sell a product or service. Then again, watch a few superbowl ads and you'll be shocked at what comes up. 

    Perhaps a little government censorship is necessary in order to separate us from the animals. Animals are only beautiful with vibrant colors, feathers, fur, antlers, etc because they want to mate and continue their existence. As mankind we are supposed to be above that having conquered the elements and transcended into a state of existence where art and the creation of it is worth writing about, thinking about or actually doing. What we really need is to get all these old bats out of congress and get some fresh and edgy blood in their to shake things up!

    In the end, I suppose it doesn't matter why we create because if the urge is still there then what are we to do other than satisfy the want? Life is about wants and needs. We "need" 3 things to stay alive: food, water and shelter from the elements. But our ancestors, who barely had these three things, still took time and caloric effort to search out materials and transform them into cave art. At this point, perhaps creating art or consuming it should be considered a need just as much as food or water is. In complete isolation, we still feel the need to create, maybe even more so in isolation. Maybe that's a sign that we bother to create because we need to create: Creating art is a human condition. 

Hobbies

      Over the years I have embarked on many different paths during my free time. Finding a hobby has always been a passion of mine. In my early years, the hobbies I chose were just shots in the dark with little thought given to them. Now, there is significantly more thought put into each one. For example, in my earlier 20's I thought I could pick up the hobby of casting aluminum or other metals whilst I was a geographical bachelor and living in an on post apartment at Fort Benning. This did not work for several reasons: Firstly, I didn't have the right or proper equipment to do so. In lieu of this, I crafted my own forge, complete with forced air induction via a hair dryer and used welding gloves and kitchen tongs to handle the stainless steel cup that I used as a crucible for aluminum cans I was melting for raw material. I successfully casted a single "coin" which was about a half in thick glob of aluminum that you could barely see the outline of the basic parachutist badge. I would later give this coin away to the man who beat me in a 12-mile ruck. My wife hated this hobby because it involved intense heat, noxious/toxic fumes, and liquid metal. 

    My most successful (and time consuming) hobby was brewing beer. I started by buying a one gallon brew kit that came with a small one gallon keg. My first batch was a pumpkin ale and it wasn't too bad. I was hooked though. I made batch after batch; each batch would take hours of painstaking attention to detail and note taking. I read books, articles and watched hundreds of videos on different techniques of brewing, the history, the styles, etc. I spent countless hours developing a sense of the beer culture by listening to beer podcasts on brewing and the beer culture. It was an amazing hobby but once I had kids, it was no longer something that was feasible for me. Brewing beer, all grain brewing, takes at least 6-8 hours. I have literally spent sun up to almost sun down brewing a batch of beer. Combined with my slowing down on drinking, my hobby died out after around 3-4 years. I loved beer brewing, and I wish so badly to get back into it but I wouldn't enjoy the fruits of my labor even if I did dedicate the time to it. I don't really drink any more but sips of this or that and my GERD has gotten pretty bad as of late. It was a hobby I enjoyed thoroughly.     

    One hobby that I have chosen recently was chosen for practicality and flexibility: Soap Bar Making. it met the few critical criteria that I needed to pursue it: 1) It didn't take more than two hours to partake. 2) I could do it all at home. 3) It's dirt cheap. 4) It produced something useful. 5) It's not very dangerous; except for the lye. I have made a few batches of hot process soap so far and it has been pretty rewarding so far. My wife enjoys using it in the shower and for washing hands and so do I. I have short hair currently so I use my soap only for washing my entire body. I can also experiment with smells by using different oils. I am looking forward to dialing in a great manly smell and producing a lot of soap for the future. I have also applied to the Guinness book of World Records to produce the largest soap on a rope. I plan on making close to an 80lb sphere of soap on a rope using my old Atlas stone molds. 

     I used to make Atlas stones. This was a great one that I may start doing again because it doesn't take long, it's dirt cheap and I can make some money doing it. I made several hundred dollars doing it for a few months at my last duty station and there's a market for workout stuff with all the COVID crap. Also, I just enjoy making huge concrete spheres. I think they look awesome and they are just heavy. 

    To list a few other hobbies I attempted over the years are as follows: Photography, videography, video games, watching dragon ball Z, mountain biking (real mountain biking), canoeing, fishing, PC building (which I did successfully), wine tasting, type writer restoration (one successful attempt), Lock-Picking (I am still able to do at a novice level), wood carving, painting, drawing/sketching, and probably a few more I don't remember. 

      To list a few hobbies that I still do: soap making, geocaching, disc golfing, blogging, working out/running, motorcycle riding, and watching Hockey. Who knows what I'll do next, but I just want to find a hobby that I could really feel like it'll be a lifelong love. After I retire, hopefully from the military and getting a paycheck every month, I just want to enjoy my hobbies and live a nice quiet life... maybe. 

Thoughts on New years and lifestyles.

      Here it is, another New Year: 2021. What has changed beyond numbers on the calendar? What resolutions will I make for this new year? Nothing has changed beyond the numerical value of the year and I shall make no resolutions. As many others have made resolutions in the years past I have also failed those resolutions. I don't really think it's healthy to make resolutions, especially life changing ones. It would be like a smoker saying they are going to quit at the end of the month, never to return to a years long, if not a life long habit. Many people think of  a new image or a new result for themselves well before the new year starts; they sit in their cozy homes over a nice holiday of Christmas and think to themselves of what the new year will bring and what they should be next year. I have fallen for this trap many years but I stopped all resolutions last new years. I resolve not to resolve you could say. I don't feel like disappointing myself after the inevitable failure and I certainly don't need anything else to contribute to my stress levels. 

     On the topic of stress and life, I had some thoughts on that the last few days. I dreamt, for a day or two, of buying hundreds of acres in some forested land of America and living free off the land, only to worry about surviving and paying for the bare necessities when the time came. This has seemed like an ideal way to live to me: getting back to real human nature and back to what our bodies were made for. It reminds me of something a co-worker said to me once. This co-worker in the Army was originally from Africa, and he had joined to get citizenship to America in hopes of a better life. While we as Americans look upon the african tribes and harsh living conditions of those who live in the slum cities the man had another perspective I had never thought about, he said, "You know, life in Africa in a way was easier than life here in America. There was less to do, life was simple. Every day I woke up with the sun, or whenever I wanted too. I did my usual work in the fields and with the animals or whatever else I had to do that day and then I would come home. Home was never far from work because I worked at my house. I played with my family and friends, worked on crafts and did whatever I wanted for many hours of the day. My meals were simple but good and I didn't worry about paying this bill or doing anything else but living and doing what I needed to do...". 

      I, of course, am using these quotations lightly and am attempted to rebuild our conversation in my head. Through my short time in the Army I have trained more soldiers than I can remember. When I train a soldier, I always ask the same basic questions: where are you from? Why did you join the Army? What do you want to do with your life? I ask these things because I do care about the soldier and I want to help guide them in any way I can. I don't remember a lot of the soldiers who I asked these questions but I certainly remember the conversation and the soldier who gave me his perspective on life in the wilderness. 

     It seems far too easy, buy land, move to it and live on it. But even then, how will you pay your property taxes every year? What if your kids get sick? What if you are mortally ill or wounded, where will you go? Hundreds of questions like that swarm through my mind when I think of this "ideal" off the grid lifestyle. The answer to most of those questions is you deal with it alone and take what breaks you can catch until you die. A steep price to pay for a lifestyle on the extreme. What is the truth on the best lifestyle? Is it really one extreme or the other? Is it in the middle, just taking the best and most ideal aspect of each extreme?..... I don't know and I doubt I ever will know. I think life is just is what you are dealt by the Good Lord and you probably shouldn't try and force a change unless you think it's God's will... I guess I just feel still a little trapped by the Army life and my inability to maintain my current lifestyle outside of the Army and I seek an escape: the ultimate escape of the off grid dream. Alas, I will deal with the mundane, the stressful and non-compatible suburban lifestyle that has been dished out to me. After all, would life really be that much better on the other side? If I ever find out, I resolve to write a book on it. It'll be a grand slam of a book too!