Although I haven't been writing in my blog as regularly as I'd like, I still end up typing almost daily for my master's class, which I am currently struggling in. I expect to do much more typing as well when I get my laptop on Tuesday this week for work. I have been shadowing a guy for the last week I've been at work and not much else. No laptop means no way for me to put people in the Army and that is a problem. I want to do this work, not out of ambition for career success but for my own satisfaction and knowing that I could change the lives of the young men and women who enlist. While there are plenty who have horror stories about their time in the service, many of them warranted, I have only had my life changed in more positive ways than negative.
I recently finished The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. A wonderful novel that every young man or woman should read in their 20's. I don't agree all the way with Rand's philosophy, Objectivism, but I can appreciate it for it's simplicity, discipline and perspective. Simplicity in that it says an individual is only worth as much as they are willing to work or create. Discipline is rewarded and regarded highly for being consistent in work and in personal character. Lastly, the perspective taught is one of truthful self value. Nobody should sugarcoat to themselves what kind of a person or worker they are to anyone, especially themselves. Nor should one seek out the approval of others to attain a positive self value but should look only to what they can accomplish for this perspective into and of themselves. I expected a little bit more of a drawn out conclusion, but that was based upon reading Atlas Shrugged first. A great book, will probably read again in a few years.
My dad wrote a book a few years ago. I have never read a page of it until now and for that I am glad. I am glad because as a young man with a wife and kids of his own I can appreciate much more the value and the achievement it is to author and publish a book. Not only that but the acknowledgements page he wrote was very sincere and emotion filled. My dad is a fairly sincere person but I wouldn't say he is extremely expressive in his emotions outwardly. I am the same way. He, of course, gives credit to my mom and expresses his lover for her in a way one would for a soulmate. Which while I knew was true growing up, just never heard. After all, bearing one's soul to your wife is not usually done in front of your children's or anyone else for that matter. He also wrote that if he had known how much time it would take away from spending it with us kids that he would have never done it in the first place. I am of course very touched by that. He always tried to spend as much time with us as possible. Even after getting up early to go to work in houston from spring, (which was about an hour, sometimes more in traffic) he would come home and try to play outside with us. He was always very adamant about it, sometimes to my childish dismay when I was watching TV or playing Xbox. I'm glad he took the time to do it though. Would I have loved to spend those hours with him? Of course I would but I think that a man needs time for himself, to do things for himself, for the benefit of himself. Not all the time, and not the majority of the time but just some times. He has used the time to create and produce something that he is proud of. He didn't squander his time on TV or any other similar fruitless effort and it's for that reason I am glad he took those hours or days to himself.
It also raises some conflict in me reading the book. I love my dad and I appreciate him for his intellect and personality. I know that some people write books for publishing and some people write books for their own creative satisfaction. I know that my dad probably hoped his book would take off and catapult him to mild success and would continue writing. He has not seen such success, but I know that he is satisfied in having written it and self-published the book. Okay, well I assume that he is satisfied with that, I'll have to ask him about it. The conflict is this though: His son read his father's book. Is the father happy that his son read his book and can see into his soul in that way like possibly never before or does the father feel judgment or uncomfortable for having known a window to his core was revealed to his son? This was just my initial conflict. Having thought about it though, putting myself in his shoes, I think I would like my son to read my book. There are things that I may have never expressed vocally that may be able to be perceived in the text.
Just some thoughts I've had over the last few weeks. - Mitch