I dressed in all black PT clothes, put my hat on and went outside to warm up. I've read that doing static stretching before a run can actually increase injury rates so I have been doing more active warm ups lately. It's about room temp outside but really humid and no breeze. Perfect conditions for sweating profusely. Which I do after running 3 miles. I ran down past cadet land once again and made it to a solar farm on post. I pass a guy wearing a blue shirt who is running in the opposite direction. I hit a mile and turn back around. At 2 miles I have passed up the blue shirt guy. I run past two soldiers walking down the middle of the road. A large tanker truck rolls by them slowly on the road; the soldiers didn't give any ground. After blatantly walking through the middle of an intersection a truck stops and yells in a rather obscene nature for them to get out of the middle of the road. One of the soldiers promptly yells something of a similarly vulgar nature back. An exchange is made I can't hear. The truck moves on and the soldiers promptly pick up a run and get out of the road. here's the lesson, don't yell back at anyone driving an expensive truck on Fort Knox if you're rank doesn't end in anything less than 9.
I took a cold shower this morning, which was refreshing. I think I shall continue this trend. I skipped the scrambled eggs this morning at breakfast and went with two boiled eggs instead. The gas production today was minimal.
I video chat my family briefly before class. Class was literally reading over a regulation about being a recruiter. It was something that I found interesting and engaging. Some parts of it left me very confused because of the style of writing that Army regulations are written in, but the cadre were helpful in decoding the jargon. At the end of the day I leave the class feeling much more empowered about being at school; I feel that this course will actually benefit my abilities to recruit and handle the process.
Dinner was fish again. I was denied the request to get baked chicken with my fish. Stingy DFAC rules only allow for one meat per customer. Not that I'm paying for it anyways. I mean, I guess I am paying for it with you know the hours, days months away from family, blood, sweat, tears and the occasional hair I'm sure I'm losing.
I am getting back to my room after buying a pair of slacks and a blue button down, long sleeve shirt; the only business casual clothes I own for now... maybe ever. I'm not a big fan of getting dressed up, for any reason. Anyways, I tried the clothes on and think it looks weird but I'll wear it tomorrow anyways. I'm not sure how many of my classmates will wear business casual but I'm wagering that most will instead of the much warmer uniform.
I have an app that allows me to watch my living room and kitchen areas from my phone live. My oldest son sits on a big pillow in the floor of the living room. He's alone and getting precious time with his tablet; he is undoubtedly playing a game that involves baby shark or cars. I watch him and I miss spending this time with him. Even though I cannot see my wife, I know that she is putting my youngest boy to sleep right now in his room; a process that takes around 15 minutes. Usually this time is quiet time where my eldest and I will sit together in the living room while he plays his tablet. I usually will waste time playing something on my phone, reading the news, scrolling classifieds or looking up whatever comes to mind. The last few months though, I've often pulled out my phone and then immediately put it back in my pocket. I do this because I'm starting to think a little more in the moment. As a leader in the Army, it's hard to stay in the present unless you are in some sort of danger or conducting training. More often than not the admin work, which is most of a leaders day, revolves around filling out spread sheets, trackers, concept of operations worksheets, risk assessments or setting up training. All things that are in the future whether it's a week, month, several months, or tomorrow morning at 0500 this kind of work and planning takes up the vast majority of a leaders day. So the mindset to think of the future and less in the moment is almost hardwired into a leader.
I've found that mindfulness training like meditation or taking a purposeful break from phones or TV's is a great way to stay more in the moment when you want to. It would be impossible to stay in the moment at work, so instead I must resort to choosing when and when not to be consumed by the immediate few seconds in front of me.
Relating back to my boy, I've often in recent times taken my phone to my bedroom and put it on the charger; it's usually close to it's electronic death by the end of a work day. I do this because instead of reaching into my pocket for immediate answers or the relief of "boredom", I choose to stay more in moment and engage more with my family on a level that you simply can't achieve with a screen in your lap. I'm young still, 26, and I have two kids already. I'm 7 years into a career that I may retire from after 20 years. My current contract goes until my 11th year in the Army so there's no sense in giving it up now. Despite all the future ahead of me, my past is the majority of the driving factor for a change in my attention to the present. 7 years has flown by. My oldest son is almost 3, and it seems like just the other day he was a tiny baby. The past is gone, the future is in tomorrow, the present how ever is right now in your face and I think that being in the present more helps life seem longer; it can make time seem to tick a little more slowly.
Alot of this mindfulness and stress relieving stuff I have been doing is largely related to the behavioral health appointments I made in October of 2019. I was suffering from huge amounts of stress and it was starting to physically manifest itself with anxiety and other physical feelings. It freaked me out and I didn't like it at all to say the least. I'd never been the guy to get in touch with how I feel or how what triggers my stress or even how to get rid of it. That all changed in 2019. It will forever be known to me as the year I learned what stress and anxiety was and how I was going to fight it every single day. In a matter of years my life went from a care free single guy to a guy who had kids, two houses and the number 2 most stressful job in America. At least that's what Forbes said awhile back. The Army life isn't easy with a family, and it's even harder when you are both in the military. Even with my wife being in the National Guard and not working but 2 days a month and a few weeks each year it's still tough. From October 2019 to the end of February 2020 my wife had to go to training two states away. I still had my very full time Army job to do. My wife had to use more than half her paycheck to afford the babysitter that, thank the Lord, was able to watch our kids from 0530 until whenever I got home. Sometimes she even had to put them to bed I came home so late. Juggling all this and we moved houses towards the end of her training made for a very stressful time. It took every ounce of discipline to attempt to stay in the moment, breathe deeply and try not to let the thoughts consume me.
Several months down the road now I've become much more adept at handling stress. Becoming a recruiter is going to test my new found skills to the limits. I've accepted it for what it is. The silver lining is that I'm going back to my home town where my parents and brothers can help out with my kids if need be. I'll also never have to worry about deploying for the next three years. Not that deploying has been a worry really because I don't think I could get one if I landed in country with the way my Army career has gone.
Anyways, I suppose I have rambled enough and gotten off topic. But I did kill some time and I feel that typing all this out and putting it out there gives me some form of relief. Maybe it's satisfaction. Both?