About Me

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A 10 year veteran of the US Army (and 10 to go until retirement!). Never deployed overseas, never saved a life. (Well, maybe once or twice.) Sergeant Moore is not a (war) hero.

24 December 2020

Christmas Letter

    This year was a whirlwind, kind of like every year has been since joining the Army but this year even more so. The year started off with BethAnne halfway through her Signal Basic Officer Leaders Course. (BOLC) I was still working every day at my unit as usual while Oren and Ryker were watched from 0500-1700+ every day by our great baby sitter Lenny. BethAnne and I are so thankful we were able to find such a great baby sitter who cared so much for our boys; even today she messaged me to get our new address so she could send them a Christmas present. We bought a house and moved into it at the end of January and rented out our last house. It was a great move that I did myself with help from a friend and my father-in-law. 
    Sadly, a few weeks later I got an email that said I was selected to be a recruiter with the Army. A great career move but it was pretty much a guarantee that we were going to have to leave our new home, which we greatly loved. I had to tell BethAnne the bad news the day before she graduated BOLC. I drove down to Fort Gordon Georgia in order to attend her graduation which was a great time. I'm very proud of her and very grateful to have 4 months of BOLC behind us. 
    Spring at the new house flew by and rolled right into summer. I left in June to attend recruiting school at Fort Knox. I had a pretty decent time there but it was too far away to drive home on the weekends. 10 hours is too much. I went mountain biking and hiking a few times and tried to stay in shape with only my sandbag to keep me company. I graduated and was glad to be driving down the mountains of Virginia back to North Carolina.
    The only good thing to come of the recruiting duty was that I begged to come to College Station TX as my request to stay in Fayetteville NC was denied. We found a house to rent in College Station after having a house we were going to buy fall through at the very last minute. The rental we got was even better than the house we were going to buy so God really gave us break with that! The move was pretty smooth for moving two small boys across the country in two days. Within two weeks we had moved in and made the new house pretty cozy.     
    Since then I have been learning the ropes of being a recruiter. I am thoroughly enjoying it and think that being a platoon sergeant was much more stressful than recruiting is. BethAnne is still now, dealing with an interstate transfer in the National Guard. Hopefully soon she will find out her new unit and begin to drill every month as usual! The upside to moving back to the BCS area is that my parents and brothers live minutes away now and get to see us and our boys on a weekly basis instead of several times a year. That has been the biggest blessing of them all. 
    BethAnne and I were also blessed with the news that we are going to be having another child in June of 2021! We don't know the gender yet, but everyone will know when we do because I don't like the gender reveal crap and I don't feel like waiting. This year has been a real treat for us all with COVID-19, the election and the usual crap in the rest of the world. I don't have any complaints. Me and my family are upright, breathing, and aren't hurting for shelter or food. God has gotten us so far and will continue to bless us I'm sure. 
    Today is my 27th birthday, I spent the morning play disc golf with my dad. For the record, it was an extremely cold and very windy day; I beat my dad for the first time in years with +8 and my dad at +13 at Research Park in College Station. I'm sure the usual outcome of my loss will happen next round!
        I wish to you, my family and friends, a merry Christmas and a better year next year. Thank you all for what you have contributed to me and my family's life. I hope that we were able to do the same for you. 

                                                                                                 - Mitchell Moore AKA SSG Moore


22 November 2020

22 November 2020

       Well, with more free time on my hands and less anxiety about opening up my laptop I can care free type away at another blog post. Which I do enjoy very much. I don't have much to report about this week other than I survived and am glad to have another week in front of me. I faced some anxious times as I have been fighting off a migraine of sorts for the last 5-6 days. I'm not sure if it's a migraine or a tension head ache from my constant bad posture at work and home. I am leaning more towards a tension head ache though because after a little self massage guided by a youtube physical therapist my headache felt a lot better and I woke up with no headache and have managed to go almost all day without feeling any noticeable pain. I would like to say I'll make it a nightly routine but like stretching and meditating I just haven't made a habit of it yet....(Oren has just gotten out of bed and I'm going to have to put him back to sleep.)

     My posture is pretty terrible at work and at home. I'm always looking down at something it seems and cranking my neck down. I really enjoy being outside on walks and getting to look up at the sky and the trees. Makes my neck feel good and my mind. I like taking the boys on long wagon rides through the neighborhood. each walk is a little over a mile, sometimes over 2 miles. Each mile is around 25 minutes too when pushing or pulling the wagon. I like to push the wagon so I can see what the boys are doing in front of me. As they have gotten older they are starting to kick and hit and all those things that little boys do. I love the walks we take and the usual sights we see. I thank God each and every day, multiple times a day, for the wonderful kids I have. Something I never thought of as a younger man, having kids, but now I couldn't imagine life without them. Makes me wonder what the next stage of life will be like: Life after kids. Is it freedom? or perhaps a little more boredom. A little longing for something else. I have thoughts like that often, of what it must be like to have grown up children and what it's like when they don't come around for so long. Being in the Army for 7 years before moving back to my hometown for recruiting I saw my parents around once a year on average I'd say. I'm sure that they missed me alot, I definitely missed them as well but I think it may have been easier for me to not dwell on it having to deal with the all engulfing army life. I feel now, being home, that the army is far less engulfing now. It feels more like a strict job than a voluntary prison sentence. A voluntary prison sentence... perhaps that's a little harsh. After all, I am getting paid, promotions, and a retirement at the end of it. I should be more grateful for it. I could have easily been turned away from military service by my recruiter and the life I know now could have disappeared like an alternative narrative in a not so parallel universe.  

    An old family friend, who I'll call hop, was recently readmitted to the hospital and subsequently released back to his house this week. He was going in to renal failure after a day or two of, from what I can gather, being undecided on what he wanted. After a day of no dialysis and feeling like death he decided it wasn't for him. Hop was of regular attendance of Iola Missionary Baptist Church when I went many moons ago so I know him to be a God fearing man. I think that he may have had a nice long talk with our Lord on that day he decided he wanted to go back to the hospital and live. He's had a rough few years, so I can't really judge him for what he put himself through this week. He has lost his mom, dad and grandmother all in the last 3-4 years I think. Perhaps less than that. He lived with those three almost his entire life and so they were a very close family. I can't imagine that kind of loss. I pray for him now and I want to talk with him soon. In person if I can, but he's under self quarantine right now. I just think of him and wonder what he and God talked about this week. I want to ask him what his prayers were, what answers God gave him. I wish I could say my faith was bigger than it is. I wish I could just walk in the doors of a church with no coronavirus worries and be with fellow worshippers. I have taken even that for granted. IMBC is 30 minutes away but I wish I could have driven there this morning. If I were single and no kids than I would attend wearing a mask but I couldn't expose myself more than I already do for work. I pray for a vaccine soon so that we can, as the news moguls want us to believe, get back to a "new" normal. 

     Tomorrow I will, God willing, wake up and work out. I haven't decided what I should do yet. Mondays have almost always been a run day since joining the Army. I have the complete freedom to choose my workouts now and for that I am thankful. I miss the group setting quite a bit though. The other guys get you through some of the really tough workouts and they will push you more than you by yourself. I am pretty good at pushing myself, sometimes. Perhaps a nice sprint and sled drag session tomorrow? I don't want to do that at all but perhaps that's what I need to do. 

     This week I kept one of those small gideons Bibles in my pocket and read a few chapters from Psalms each day. It felt pretty good and was a great daily reminder of what's important and who is important. One thing that stuck out to me in the 2nd chapter was that kings and those all powerful on earth are nothing compared to God. The men behind the curtains in this country and others who secretly wage multi-trillion dollar wars and order this and that have nothing on God. That really stuck out to me. Being in the military and knowing exactly where you stand in the rank structure has a really grounding effect sometimes when you consider all those above you. I, a staff sergeant, am usually in charge of a platoon of around 30 soldiers. Sometimes that gets to my head and so it's nice to be humbled by reading the Psalms and reading how none of that crap matters to God. It's nice to read it and be humbled versus being humbled by God himself or the next higher rank! I pray I am able to become more humble. I shaved my head today, not bald but down to a 1/8in. I like having a shaved head. I feel slightly more humble and disciplined. Like a monk almost, but blended in more to regular society. After all, plenty of people shave their heads like me. I inwardly hold on to the idea that shaving my head is my own way of discipline and a forced humbleness as I can't be vain about a shaved head. It is also very convenient as I only have one soap in the shower to use and I don't need to pay good money to cut my own hair. Back in 2014 I bought a pair of Wahl clippers, just the regular old base model with the guards from 1/8in to a whole inch and these $20 clippers has probably saved me more than 500 bucks in haircuts over the years. Each time I cut my own hair I save myself 20-30 bucks. I've paid 40 dollars for a haircut before and never again. I've always thought too that if I ever start to lose my hair that I won't prolong the process with a comb over or cling to what's left and that I'll just shave it off and be bald. I've been bald before and have gone through a few stages of shaving my head slick. It's a lot of work at first but it gets easier. Somedays I eagerly think of that so I can shave my head bald all the time. Ah well, until then I guess I shouldn't take my youthful mane for granted either! 


15 November 2020

Meditations, failures and realizations.

      Once again a whole month has gone by and I've but only blinked. This month hasn't been crazy busy, I haven't felt too stressed out but I have had many thoughts on life and work and what's important. I'll attempt to organize them as best as I can.

     I recently had a reawakening in my practice of mindfulness or what some call meditation. Once again it can be linked to thinking of my own mortality. I have experienced near death situations several times in my life. Or at least pretty life threatening and severe bodily harm. Each time this has happened I have had the typical grounding effect that most people experience. I was more thankful for each breath, more aware of how amazing the moment was, and less distracted by other little thoughts and engaged more in the present. A brain eating amoeba that is found in warm fresh water came to mind as I plunged into research park pond to grab a disc I found while wading out in my crocs. Immediately I thought of this rare amoeba that has only taken 34 lives across the US in the last decade. the chances of getting it are slim to none. On par with winning a big lottery. But, it still happens. I'm a bit of a hypochondriac if you haven't noticed. And for the last few days the thought of this amoeba crawling up my nose to wreak havoc on my brain has been bothering me. I have to remind myself of the statistics and think if it were really that big of an issue that no one would swim in freshwater. Young guys jump into research park ponds all year and we've never had a problem... Anyways, just that thought has been making me dive into the mindset of the great stoics: what would you do if today was your last? Better yet, just the reminder that you could leave life right now and should act accordingly. Now I don't mean do something crazy like drive a car fast, skydive or finish off your bucket list. I mean how you treat others, how you soak up each moment. When you are aware of each moment, disciplined to stay in the moment and not let your mind squander the seconds with unnecessary thoughts or worries than the moment is much more beautiful. You can capture it more completely. I'll talk a little nicer, I'll take advantage of my time with family more and spend less time on my phone. I love these things but not exactly the reason why I feel more compelled to do them. 

     Shouldn't we all be this way a the time? Isn't that how life is supposed to be? Just people, living in the moment. Not living for each other, perhaps for themselves and their God but just living out each waking moment knowing it could be the last? Maybe this mindset is something that middle class Americans, like myself, have forgotten. I'm not even an average middle class American either; I'm in the Army, I've jumped out of planes/helicopter, I've participated in sports and recreations that have serious risks and have driven all types of motorcycles through the heat of summer and the bite of North Carolina winters. Even still, the thought of mortality is something a little farther away than it should be. Guys/Gals who have been in the army a few years more than myself are much more acquainted with it because of their actual war time experience. Most deployments these days carry little risk and statistically are safer than simply walking the streets of Fayetteville or other crime ridden areas in the states. I recently saw a picture of an old time mountain man who was living/sleeping in a log that had been dug out and had just killed a deer and hacked off it's leg to roast over a bare fire. The caption read: "you might be tough, but are you live out of a log, kill a deer and roast it over a fire in the middle of nowhere tough?". While kind of funny, it made me think of how much softer the world and America has become. I say this because of some things that I think would be tough pale in comparison to what the frontiersmen went through. Ranger School. 61 days of suck. But every day you are gauranteed 2 MRE's and a few hours sleep. Yes you will ruck several miles a day through the woods, get rained, snowed, hailed on. It might be blazing hot or freezing cold but it's in Georgia so it's not that cold right? I think of that as tough and it's only 61 days. Men of the past did that crap far less equipped for much longer. Years on end more than likely just to stay alive... or was it to keep them happy? Who's to say. Just some thoughts I had.

     Today I have experienced a failure. I failed my first master's class at liberty university. Was I pretty behind on school work? Yes, I was. Regardless I could have passed had it not been for one simple fact: instead of ending today, a Sunday, which every other week in the course has ended, it ended on Friday which was two days ago. Sundays have been my catch up days and this Sunday was to be no different. That was until I realized that all my assignments, late, turned in or yet to be submitted had all been graded. There were more 0's than I wanted and not enough of anything else to make it a passing grade. I was a little disappointed and a little relieved. I really didn't want to spend my afternoon doing classwork or even thinking about it for that matter. Disappointed because it was a failure that will be paid for with my paycheck at the cost of about 900 bucks. I think the lesson here is this though: the coursework I had intended to bring me closer in a relationship with God was pushing me away. I say this because I came to dread the course work which was intense and completely alien from my last two degrees. I'll admit as well I didn't like to actually work and have to be spiritual about it if that makes sense. I'd rather my relationship with God be fueled by my own desire for Him and not for the grades or deadlines. The verse of the day ties in well to this lesson: "Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me." John 15:4. I think that maybe I was going for this degree more for myself than for God. I'll also admit that between the move and starting work I have prayed less and thought less than Godly things. I pray now that I will use my time more for a relationship and less of the tangible accolades. By that I mean I'm going to take a break from academia and focus more on relationships. Not only with God but also with my family. I can always do school later and frankly none of the school matters while I'm still in the Army. 

     More to follow, hopefully sooner than later. I love to peck away at this keyboard to get my thoughts down. I truly enjoy seeing words on a page. Something else that I know and think has often been taken for granted: the level of communication in the written word. Whether it be the bible or a blog, the written word is powerful and not to be forgotten or taken for granted. Certainly not to be underestimated.

18 October 2020

Work, readings and thoughts.

    The last few weeks of leave came and went quickly. I was approved to take 10 days of extra leave per Army policy and it just slipped away. I wonder if the rest of my life will slip away that fast. You hear it from old men all the time that a decade ago was just yesterday and boyhood was merely years in the past though they are well on in years... Just fleeting thought that is usually followed by me trying to savor the small moments of seeing sunshine on my little boys faces and hearing them laugh and see them smile. Holding my wife's hand and looking into her eyes, hoping that these moments would just last a little longer. Some say that having new experiences often is the best way to stay young, or make life seem a little longer. A shame because I appreciate very much a scheduled life. I've hardly ever had one after high school. With the exception of my wake up times and habits of doing exercise in the morning at the same time, my days after that are almost always chaotic and unpredictable. I've gone into work expecting normal days and then stayed working until 10pm. Conversely, I've gone into work and left before lunch not expecting it. I wish I had more days like that!
    Although I haven't been writing in my blog as regularly as I'd like, I still end up typing almost daily for my master's class, which I am currently struggling in. I expect to do much more typing as well when I get my laptop on Tuesday this week for work. I have been shadowing a guy for the last week I've been at work and not much else. No laptop means no way for me to put people in the Army and that is a problem. I want to do this work, not out of ambition for career success but for my own satisfaction and knowing that I could change the lives of the young men and women who enlist. While there are plenty who have horror stories about their time in the service, many of them warranted, I have only had my life changed in more positive ways than negative. 
    I recently finished The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. A wonderful novel that every young man or woman should read in their 20's. I don't agree all the way with Rand's philosophy, Objectivism, but I can appreciate it for it's simplicity, discipline and perspective. Simplicity in that it says an individual is only worth as much as they are willing to work or create. Discipline is rewarded and regarded highly for being consistent in work and in personal character. Lastly, the perspective taught is one of truthful self value. Nobody should sugarcoat to themselves what kind of a person or worker they are to anyone, especially themselves. Nor should one seek out the approval of others to attain a positive self value but should look only to what they can accomplish for this perspective into and of themselves. I expected a little bit more of a drawn out conclusion, but that was based upon reading Atlas Shrugged first. A great book, will probably read again in a few years. 
    My dad wrote a book a few years ago. I have never read a page of it until now and for that I am glad. I am glad because as a young man with a wife and kids of his own I can appreciate much more the value and the achievement it is to author and publish a book. Not only that but the acknowledgements page he wrote was very sincere and emotion filled. My dad is a fairly sincere person but I wouldn't say he is extremely expressive in his emotions outwardly. I am the same way. He, of course, gives credit to my mom and expresses his lover for her in a way one would for a soulmate. Which while I knew was true growing up, just never heard. After all, bearing one's soul to your wife is not usually done in front of your children's or anyone else for that matter. He also wrote that if he had known how much time it would take away from spending it with us kids that he would have never done it in the first place. I am of course very touched by that. He always tried to spend as much time with us as possible. Even after getting up early to go to work in houston from spring, (which was about an hour, sometimes more in traffic) he would come home and try to play outside with us. He was always very adamant about it, sometimes to my childish dismay when I was watching TV or playing Xbox. I'm glad he took the time to do it though. Would I have loved to spend those hours with him? Of course I would but I think that a man needs time for himself, to do things for himself, for the benefit of himself. Not all the time, and not the majority of the time but just some times. He has used the time to create and produce something that he is proud of. He didn't squander his time on TV or any other similar fruitless effort and it's for that reason I am glad he took those hours or days to himself. 
    It also raises some conflict in me reading the book. I love my dad and I appreciate him for his intellect and personality. I know that some people write books for publishing and some people write books for their own creative satisfaction. I know that my dad probably hoped his book would take off and catapult him to mild success and would continue writing. He has not seen such success, but I know that he is satisfied in having written it and self-published the book. Okay, well I assume that he is satisfied with that, I'll have to ask him about it. The conflict is this though: His son read his father's book. Is the father happy that his son read his book and can see into his soul in that way like possibly never before or does the father feel judgment or uncomfortable for having known a window to his core was revealed to his son? This was just my initial conflict. Having thought about it though, putting myself in his shoes, I think I would like my son to read my book. There are things that I may have never expressed vocally that may be able to be perceived in the text. 
    Just some thoughts I've had over the last few weeks. - Mitch









29 September 2020

29 September 2020

     Fast forward an entire month. My household has been moved. My family and I are now in Texas with all of our stuff and settled into a new rental house. The house we were going to buy fell through and I had to get a rental quick. It was a blessing in disguise because this new place is awesome and the house we were going to buy required a lot of TLC. Unpacking the crap we had was enough work, I can't imagine now having to re-sod an entire back yard and all. 

     The road trip wasn't too bad. Two separate cars, one night in Meridian, Mississippi, a lot of snacks and minimal bathroom stops. We hauled ass and made it to my parents house in a little under 19 hours of drive time. We lost an hour from the time zone difference but it really didn't affect anyone too bad since we all lost plenty of sleep from the night before and the night of the hotel. Thankfully the hotel was great. I specifically chose it because on Google maps it was the most expensive in the small town and the concrete on the sat image was almost brand new. An educated guess that paid off. 

     We spent I think 5 days at my parents house. It wasn't too bad but occupying ourselves was a bit of a task since we couldn't mess with my parents during the day while they worked. My dad worked in his own room/office but my mom's station was in the living room. Thankfully the boys behaved pretty well for all they had been through in the last few weeks. Our household goods arrived on time and I had a hell of a morning unloading it all. We practically sprinted unloading our stuff off of this 18-wheeler. It was a 10-hour pack and load job but we unloaded all the boxes in less than 4 hours. Sadly that was the easy part. The hardest part was putting all the crap in boxes into places in the new house. That of course comes after setting up all the furniture. Which before that happened I had to cut carpet cutouts to fit the boys rooms and the living room. I had a long couple of days with me an my wife wrangling the kids and putting stuff in it's place. We got our stuff the 21st and as of right now the only thing left for me to completely set up/unpack this house is to mount our bedroom TV. 

     I met my station commander yesterday and got a good look at the office in the mall. The office is still in the same mall out of which I was recruited but it is in a different suite in the mall. The new suite is much more spacious. Plenty of cubicle desks, a whole ping-pong table, a deadlift station and room for extra seats. My station commander talked with me shortly. A shorter but stout SFC, white skin and pale blue eyes. He was intense but kind. I wouldn't say he was intensely kind but he's a man you know has mellowed out over the years but could revert back to a former version of himself given the right circumstance. He said that family came first, then the mission claiming that without taking care of me and my family that I wouldn't be able to complete my mission. Fair enough, I hope and pray he was telling the truth. 

     In my sparse free time in the evenings, I have been hand making business cards for recruiting efforts and finishing the book "The Fountainhead." by Ayn Rand. One of the best pieces of literature I have ever had the pleasure of reading. While I don't agree wholeheartedly with her philosophy, I can say that I admire the ideological principles behind her so called Objectivism. Perhaps one day I'll write more about what I think about that. 

                                                      My cozy nook on my side of the bed.


                                           goodbye to the NC house. The 2nd house that is. 


25 August 2020

25 Aug 2020

    Just like that I'm back from recruiter school. So many things have happened so fast. Everyday is always something. The new house my wife and I were going to get we had to let go due to a lender error and we weren't agreeing with the new terms to the loan. I did find us a pretty sweet rental though for not much more than that house. It's also only a mile and a half from my new office so that's really great. More lunches and naps at the house!
    I've been crazy busy... in a way. I don't have a whole lot I have to do, but when I'm home by myself to watch my two boys it's hard to do anything beyond keep the house from exploding and sending a few emails. I manage thanks to mickey mouse and youtube's copious amount of kid friendly content to keep my boys still and quiet for a few minutes at a time. Shout out to any single parents out there; y'all are rockstars. 
    I'm going to try and start a new series of videos called, "Mitch Reads Wiki Entries by the Fire.". It's pretty straightforward, I record myself reading wikipedia entries on my high fidelity microphone and have a fireplace crackling in the back ground. If Joe Pera can get famous from being weird for a few minutes at a time surely some people want to fall asleep to the sounds a boring wiki entry.
        

16 July 2020

Week 3 of Recruiter School

    This week has flown by. Every day has just been jammed pack with classes until 1700. Thursday was the first reprieve at 1415 release. So many classes on many different army regulations. My brain is fried at the end of these class days. I still chat with my family at the end of every day and walk a mile or so in the evening to avoid sitting down all day. 
    I have been working on a sermon/lesson project the last few days based on a verse of the day from Galatians. It's all about the do's and don'ts of the 5 senses and your general sense of awareness. I am going to send it to one of my Christian mentors and ask his thoughts and see if he wants to test it out on his group he ministers to. I am awaiting admission to Liberty University for a masters in divinity. I also applied to be ordained by the Non-Denominational Association of Christians. I doubt I will get ordained based on my lack of ministry experience but I want to put myself out there for a future attempt. 
    I have been suffering from a few nights of anxiousness. Perhaps I'm staying up too late and not sleeping well. Before bed I watch a few videos on fractals with calming music in the background. Scientific studies have shown that looking at fractals has a strong effect on reducing stress levels. I honestly believe it, after watching 5-10 minutes of these videos I feel calm and tired. One study showed faster healing times for patients who could look outside at trees, bushes, flowers etc. Those kind of living things are natural fractals and have have the same effect as looking at man-made fractals. I have also discovered this video/audio track of simple study/work beats that have a very mellow/positive vibe. I've never been to the west coast but I imagine this is what it must sound like when you walk down the streets. 
    Today is Thursday, and tomorrow there is a comprehensive exam I need to make an 80 on or better. I want to say it's only a 20 question exam. The room for error is small. I am nervous. I hope I pass. More to follow in the update tomorrow.... (7/17update, I got a 92 so pretty good, but I'm trying to get 95 or above.)

 Here's some deer I saw the other day while walking. 

Also Crocs and Socks are the best combo since PB&J. Very comfortable and easy on my bunions. I feel to young to being saying that. 











12 July 2020

12 July 2020

        This morning I awoke to the sound of my morning jazz playlist on youtube. A very nice way to wake up indeed. I get up and talk with my family and grab chow from the dfac. A satisfactory breakfast with real bacon this morning. The bacon is probably the reason for my heartburn during the day. Sadly my allergy medication has two unfortunate side effects: increased heartburn and reduction of the bodies ability to regulate temperature. I still take it because the alternative of snotting and wheezing at night is unbearable at best. In fact, about a month ago when I went tent camping this happened. I forgot to take my medication in the morning like usual and when the time came for sleep I sneezed and wheezed until midnight. I took my pill and then fell asleep sitting upright in the car so I wouldn't keep anyone else awake. It was an awful night. 
      After breakfast I play some minecraft and kill some time before having to go and fetch a few items from the commissary. I peruse the main PX for about 30 minutes just killing time until 11. I don't even get anything from the PX because the line is over 10 people long. That's just too much. I walk in the commissary when it opens and head straight for the water. I put x3 2.5 gallon jugs of water in my cart; this water is what I will drink all week. Next I get some cane sugar for coffee and tea. I also guiltily add pop-tarts and chocolate chip cookies to my basket. Only a $17 dollar trip.  
    I get some lunch on the way back; baked chicken, rice and beans and baked beans. I am now fueled up with enough fiber to produce enough gas for a trip to the coast. I chat with my boys and play some minecraft for awhile. I do go on a nice bike ride and listen to some ask pastor john while I ride. I have some revelations in the word and am grateful for the time I have to be in God's word. I come back to my room and pray and read the Bible. 
   
Ft. Knox has lots of railroads
    By now the boys are awake and cranky for my wife. We spend the afternoon and some of the evening talking about buying the house in College Station and getting dinner figured out for the boys. Eventually we get to the point where boys are fed, bathed, and asleep. The realtor sent up the offer for the house and now the waiting game begins. I wish I could sell my first house but we have just put a tenant in there a few months ago and the contract is nowhere near up. I'm gonna sell that house as soon as I can, and hopefully for a profit. 
    I shower and make some great tea with the new organic cane sugar. Florida Crystals makes organic cane sugar and other specialty sugars using a process that generates no waste and uses no outside electricity. Having looked this up earlier, I feel pretty good about my sugar choice. It also tastes great in a cup of decaf black tea at 2200. I am disappointed though to find out that the Army TA program will only cover half of my master's degree and that I have to wait to finish ALC in order to even start the degree. I may not go to ALC until 2021. Surely I can get some sort of waiver, but that will be for another day. Maybe I can get a grant or something to help with the 9,000 dollars it will cost for my half of the tuition. 
    Ah well, at least the bachelors and associates was free. 
Pull-Cord toilet, my great fix after breaking the handle off.
 

 

11 July 2020

11 July 2020

      Today the 11th of July. It makes me think of 711, like the gas station convenience store 711. I am realizing that I haven't seen one in years but after a quick google search I see that they apparently still exist. Good for them.
    I've also the last few days discovered that there are hours of different jazz music playlists on youtube. No words, just nice bossa nova jazz. One in particular is pretty great for the morning time. I'm listening to this one that is for evening time. It really helps energize me in the morning and make me feel a little more happy and upbeat. Almost like I'm in a sitcom and at any moment something comical may happen like in seinfeld. This is the one I listen to in the morning. 
    This morning I woke up at about 0700 and groggily got out of bed. But I was pretty motivated to get around because I have an appointment with a disc golf course and ten and a few things need to happen before I go. Like getting discs for golfing. I left all my discs at home, which of course was a mistake, and so I need to go to the local academy and buy some. It's a twenty minute drive and it opens at 9. So get dressed, eat, store and then play. I accomplish getting dressed with ease; almost as if I do it every day. Breakfast was pretty disappointing. My two boiled eggs were an untrustworthy shade of yellow when I peeled them so I tossed them. Really the only thing I ate was two slices of turkey bacon, a bagel and an apple. I mean to get more to eat but I end up not. 
    The drive to academy is too long for my liking but I make it there before the store opens and chat with my wife while she's on the road to drill this weekend. The kids are being watched by the in-laws at our house so all is taken care of. Upon entering the store my I have to practice restraint to not buy many things. Academy sports and outdoors is a wonderful place and I'd like to own just about half the store. Today though I focus on some discs and walk out with the typical 3-disc starter pack, which for 30 bucks isn't too bad. I've paid over 30 bucks for a single disc. Much better quality but when you lose a disc as often as I do you can't get too attached. 
    I get to the disc golf course early and warm up with some throws around the parking lot. My buddy and another guy get there and we start to play. This course is literally in the woods. Not like a friendly cleared out woods with trees and open space. I'm talking trees, overgrowth, bushes, vines and lots of little plants that may be rash producing. On top of that, at any given point you are either on top of a hill, at the bottom or on the side. No flat spots at all. This in combination to the large spider web population made for a rather rough time finding a rogue throw. My buddy is pretty decent and the other guy is not. I battle my buddy for the win down to the last hole and edge him out by one stroke. Success. I did cross a rather old and questionable bride over a 10 foot drop to a creek bed.
    
    Despite the victory, I was beat. I was hungry and my legs were tired of two hours of busting brush up and down the hills of kentucky. I rewarded myself with a lot of food from the DFAC. The equivalent of tuna help, potatoes and some onion rings! It was a lot of food but I at every last bite. I then laid about and eventually took a nap until 1600.
    My wife calling me woke me up. I woke up not very happy to be awake and wishing I wasn't so tired. I put some jazz on and it made me feel better. I got up and tried to go to the PX and get a puzzle. This was because I had found a puzzle in the common room in the barracks while doing laundry and it was probably missing a bunch of pieces. I like puzzles. I can concentrate very narrowly and refine a process to make it as efficient as possible. Very satisfying. Sadly, no puzzles were to be found there. But I did snag an off brand pair of crocs for 12 bucks. 
    I get back and video chat with my boys for awhile. They are happy to see me and I wish I could just reach out to them. It's times like this I wonder what torture it must be to deploy for a year or more and miss out on so much. They are so young, you can miss alot even over a few months. My boys seem to be getting bigger and smarter every single day and I'm grateful that I can video chat them multiple times a day. After our chat I get some dinner chow which is literally two slices of ham that are grilled on a flat iron grill, potato spears and some wax beans. I supplement this meal with a brownie and a PB&J sandwich. It's still not enough it seems.
    The boys go to sleep and I lazily play some minecraft. My wife calls and I lazily play minecraft and chat with her. I make some decaf and listen to my evening jazz. It's a nice relaxing vibe. I really enjoy some tea or coffee in the evening. I wish that I wasn't so caffeine sensitive, there are a lot more non-decaf options out there for tea and coffee. Alas, this is my burden to bear. Tomorrow though I am going to the commissary first thing and getting some sugar. Black coffee is fine with me, but I do like a small spoonful of sugar with it. No milk though, I like the bitter and sweet without any of the cream. 

10 July 2020

Recruiter School days 5, 6, & 7.

    Alot has happened. Not all of it is noteworthy but I'll cover the main points. Resuming from Wednesday morning, we all had to show up at 0800 for class. That means I didn't do PT so I rolled out of bed closer to 630 to get dressed and get my food. I briefly talked with my family and went to class. Today was the day that we were all going to get the assignments briefing. The real deal. The SFC who was briefing us was the person who assigns everyone in USAREC. If she doesn't say I'm going to College Station, then I'm not going. 
      I have to plow through a class in the morning and wait for the assignments briefing after lunch. I am too distracted to really pay attention. Lunch was also nothing special and if it was I don't remember. What I do remember though is logging onto my email and seeing actual confirmation from the USAREC G1, the SFC herself, email myself and my gaining battalion S1 that I'm going to College Station! And there was even an ACT email that identified a sponsor! I immediately thanked God and was beyond grateful to have this weight lifted, because I truly felt twenty pounds lighter knowing that I wasn't going somewhere else. 
    The briefing still got my heart pumping a little. I mean, what if there was a discrepancy? What if the email was sent to the wrong guy? I waited for the SFC to scroll through a PowerPoint list of our classes names and assignments. A-Z it went, so I witnessed many people before me having positive and negative reactions. One of my classmates is almost in tears, and does later on cry. Finally she gets to the M's and my name has College Station right by it. Another win and another grateful prayer sent up to the Man. I am beyond happy. I realize I am very fortunate, only a handful of people went to Texas, and only I went to the Houston Battalion. It was a miracle.
     The house search begins in earnest now. We have decided to buy a house instead of rent; that will make it 3 houses under our belts if we buy another. Thursday is all day classes and briefings I can't quite remember. All I know is that we got off after 1800 on Wednesday and Thursday and the class wasn't thrilled. Each break I text my wife about a few prospect houses. 
    Friday is a pretty good day. I finally get to come in at 0900, which meant a nice long bike ride to get the day started right. I even got to come in business casual again. All morning we had a retired guy teach us about the psychology of recruiting, how to perform well under stress and how to manage our minds and personal strengths. It was a great class. We review a previous test we all took that measured our personalities and many other traits. I found out that I am both introverted and extroverted and switch it up when I feel. I confirmed that I was stressed out. (Go figure) Interestingly, the assessment also pegged me for being able to hyper focus on a task and use problem solving and analysis to a great degree while disregarding emotion. (Once again, go figure)
    Over lunch I spill water all down my only button up shirt and have to change into uniform. Ah well, I honestly felt more self conscious wearing civilian attire anyways. It's nice to be able to hide behind some rank and a few badges. People make assumptions when I wear my uniform because of what's on it and I'm okay with that. People make assumptions when I wear civilian clothes, and what I think those assumptions are, I am less fine with. 
     
    








07 July 2020

Recruiter School Day 4

      I slept terribly last night. I woke up and couldn't fall asleep for over an hour in the middle of the night and then woke up a few times after that. I definitely didn't wake up and do PT either. I slept in till the last minute, with just enough time to get dressed, eat breakfast and walk to class. 
     Despite all this I still made a 100 on my exam! Which brought my GPA up and now I'm happy with it. You have to have an 80% in the class to pass and you have to have an 80% by the end of each week to keep going in the course as well. It really isn't that hard, but you do need to pay attention in class at the very least. I studied for all of 2 hours this entire 4 day weekend and made a 100. Chalk it up to my ability to memorize or luck, I'm just happy with the grade.
    The rest of the day was spent studying new regulations and concepts about recruiting. I once again am finding myself really engaged in this course, unlike almost any other army course, and I'm buying into the philosophy of being an army recruiter. I think that I can help people accomplish there goals and change their lives. The army has certainly been a blessing to to me and my family. 
    I ate my lunch quickly in my room and took a short snooze. The afternoon class lasted until 1800 in the evening so by the time I sat down to eat my dinner and video chat my family it was almost 1900. We have a good chat and have to get off because the boys need to go to sleep. They are really cranky and I wish I could be home to hold them before bed. 
     I take a walk and talk with my wife about her day and mine. She's worried about getting lots of fleas in the house after seeing one. She cleaned the entire house, top to bottom. Hats off to her doing that with the two boys all to herself. I tell her about my day and we slowly get ready for bed. I decide I'll shower off but just when I say that I hear my roommate swing the shower curtain and turn the water on. Classic. After he gets out, I hop in and forget that I left some boiling tea on the stove halfway through and run out of the shower to turn the burner off. The tea will be very strong.
     I plan on reading the bible until I tire out and lay down. Hopefully this strong decaf tea doesn't keep me up. 

06 July 2020

6 July 2020


        Usual routine this morning with waking up, chatting with family and getting breakfast. I forgot to get jelly sadly. I decide to go on a bike ride today. It's been much nicer with a new saddle on the bike, my butt hurts far less now. I go on about an hours worth of a ride, getting in some much needed exercise. I pass by some aircraft mock-ups and take pictures for my boy. I also ride a little on the golf course, even though there are players on it. (he he!) I see some geese and I also take a picture of it for my boys because they like geese and ducks and chickens and whatnot. 


 
    
I talk with my roommate a little when I get back and drink some lactose free milk. He's a nice enough guy, a little awkward to talk too sometimes but has always been nice. We hardly ever see each other. I think we both just politely wait for the other to leave the common area before we go in as to avoid the obvious social norms like acknowledging that there is someone else in the room. 
    I kill some time filling out some house paperwork. I hate that buying/selling/renting a house is so much work and money. Lunch today is spiral noodles,cream sauce and cubed pieces of ham thrown in the mix. Not bad, but definitely a very easy and cheap government meal. Still, it tastes good enough to eat it all. The DFAC worker handing me jelly today was in agreeance that the sugar-free jelly is terrible. 
    I eat quickly because a buddy of mine needs to be picked up from the car rental place off post. In the Army the term buddy is like the term acquaintance but with a few differences. Like an acquaintance, a buddy is someone who you have only spent time with because you are in the same unit, conducting training together or have done something along the lines that kind of sucked. Having gone through the a few of the same things you each have a non-verbal understanding about it and have an unspoken common ground. For example, here at recruiting school I know two guys here, two buddies. One I was in the same unit with for about a year and a half and the other guy has graded EFMB with me and conducted some really terrible ranges together. Other than that I really haven't shared any other experience with these guys; never spent time at each others house, no lunches or get togethers, nothing but Army related stuff. Despite this, you are allowed to call them your buddy and you know that if you are in a crowd of people you don't know you and that buddy will gravitate towards each other, make small talk and continue to suffer through the same event together. You may never talk about anything serious, you may never consider that person a friend. You might not even have their work cell number, but if it came down to it you and that buddy would fight out of whatever situation you needed to and have each other's back for anything. Even if it's just picking him up from down the road a few miles. Which I did, made some small talk relevant to the course we are in together, and then non-commitally said our goodbye's as we each walked to our room. His on the second floor and mine on the third. Thanks and your welcomes are of course exchanged but we both know it's not necessary. This sort of relationship is something you never really find on the civilian side of life unless you go through some "extreme" circumstances together. For instance, I have a good buddy that was with me through basic training and AIT. 6.5 months together and we did it together. We did become friends over this time but after AIT we went our separate ways to different units far apart. We kept in touch. Communication was and is sparse over the last 7 years. He is out of the Army right now. If I called him today he would answer. If it was an emergency he would try to help. We haven't spoken in the last 2 months and when we did it was probably a snapchat or two, but that's just what buddies are and you can't find buddies unless you really go through the suck together. 
    I went to the shoppette to grab some hot sauce and more allergy pills. Hot sauce is a usual for me when I eat breakfast on Ft Bragg. My breakfast at the dining hall there is also a "usual" thing and it includes boiled eggs that I love putting hot sauce on. The DFAC here on Knox doesn't provide any hot sauce and the make some very hard boiled eggs, and I mean the yolk in the middle is dry and crumbly. I prefer soft-medium boiled eggs but that actually takes some skill and care to make so the DFAC I'm sure boils these suckers for about 15 minutes in a batch of 12 dozen. Ah well, just add hot sauce and it'll moisten it up and add some flavor; double hitter. 
     I am now awaiting a phone call from my wonderful spouse, who I'm sure is having trouble with one of the boys going to sleep judging by the time. I have to go to bed early tonight since class starts at 8 tomorrow and I will be working out tomorrow. We have a quiz and I need focused energy; I find that if I don't workout in the morning I feel sluggish and unproductive, generally. Cardio certainly wakes me up and just makes me feel good for most of the day. I would highly recommend it to anyone. 





 

05 July 2020

5 July 2020

     My alarm woke me up, and I promptly fell back asleep until 0700. As per usual, I awaken and call my family. The boys are both up and running around within minutes of me calling my wife. After a short talk I head to the DFAC for the usual breakfast. I do not deviate from my usual menu choices. I eat and video chat with my boys. They are full of spunk today. 
    I have decided that today will be the day I check out the Tioga falls trail. When I googled mountain bike trails it was within 3 miles. It also appears that by using a range road I can get to it from off post. After making my preparations and visiting the bathroom I drive away. I drive down a typical range road for a military base; lots of open area and various weapons ranges on either side of me. I eventually get to a stop in the road. Ahead of me is the road that I need to go down, also it comes with a warning sign for authorized vehicles only but no track vehicles. Well, I'm certainly not driving a tank and I am authorized entry on to Ft Knox so I proceed. It's a barely used windy road that is being slowly reclaimed by the Kentucky jungle. Truly it is a jungle with dense growth, greenery all around and a canopy that obscures the sky. I have to hop out once and clear some logs. I eventually run into a locked gate across the road with several warnings and graffiti on it. I only have a half a mile to go but I decide I'll take the route that uses proper roads instead of risking parking my car back here. I fear it may suffer some unforeseen fate whilst I am away. 
    Good thing too because the Toiga falls trail doesn't allow mountain bikes after all. I pull up to a parking spot in the woods with many other trail goers. Saddened by the no mountain bike rule I trek on foot with a hammock and a water bottle in my bag. Probably a good thing I couldn't ride my bike up there, because it was straight up for the first mile or so. 30 degree incline and jutting rocks, some loose and some buried deep within the rocky soil. I would have no doubt fallen or given up riding straight up on the bike; far easier it was to walk up to the falls. I arrived at the falls and enjoyed the sights for a few minutes before answering the sudden call to nature far away from the group at the falls. One of my best pairs of socks are forever to remain in the Kentucky hills. 
    I set up my hammock and just lay and relax for about 15-20 minutes, enjoying the view of the sky between the tall tree canopy. The sounds of the falls, birds, people talking and kids playing is quite loud but comforting. It reminds me of many state parks I've been to before. Were the water deep enough to swim in I would have jumped in, but it was, at most, only 6 inches deep. After packing up I splashed in a stream purposely just to see if it was cool. It was, and I wish I could have jumped in. Walking away I witnessed a kid about 10-12 slip on the rocks and land on his butt. It looked like it hurt and I could hear him wailing. His mother dusted him off and he was fine, just a little butt hurt haha! The walk back is more peaceful since no one is close to me and I'm mostly walking down hill. I stop to take several pictures and enjoy the view myself. It was a good time, short, but good.






    On the way back I stop by the General Patton museum. Of course it is closed, but the tanks outside are always open so I call my boys to show them. The oldest has a few toy tanks he plays with occasionally so I figure he'd get a kick out of seeing me by real life tanks. He of course enjoys it as I walk around and show him the different ones and tell him how tough they are. As I walk around I feel my sock-less, wet feet building up heat in my smelly shoes. Time to take these bad boys off. I say goodbye to the boys and make a pit-stop at the DFAC for lunch. One giant meatball, some pasta shaped like grubs, and vegetable medley today. I of course oblige myself to grab a piece of red velvet cake and ask specifically for the sugared jelly. The lady gets a laugh when I tell here my underwhelmed experience with the sugar-free kind. 



    I spend the afternoon wasting my time playing a video game called minecraft. After getting off and looking around I regret not doing something more productive. I genuinely don't like just wasting time. Even if it's just taking a walk or sitting and thinking I'd rather do that than waste more than an hour playing minecraft or any other video game. I like to spend my time doing things that yield tangible and positive results. Some will argue that, digitally, there is something to show for but what I really mean is it useful in real life? Even watching a history documentary or something is more productive. Sure, I will give it to some in the camp that you can learn problem solving playing a game. Sure. But how many of us out there are actually figuring it out versus just googling the solution?
    I got wrapped up playing my game I actually was too late for the DFAC. The shopette was closed and so was burger king. Good think there's a snack machine downstairs. I tuck in to my wrappered dinner discuss family business with my wife. I really wish I could have come home this weekend to see her and the kids. Watching the kids all day is exhausting, physically and mentally. They are both just young enough to only understand so much and both old enough to run around with a dangerous object in their hand. It would be nice to just take them off her hands for a few hours. I also miss my bed. This army issue mattress is the same as any other post. It's like a flimsy piece of plywood with springs underneath covered by a slippery nylon cover. The sheet just slides off the corners when ever you toss and turn a few times. The pressure points are also pretty bad. My mattress back home is a king size pillow top that has never disappointed me or my back. 
    
 

04 July 2020

4 July 2020

     I begrudgingly rolled out of bed this morning before 7, but I really should have gotten up earlier. I begin my day talking with my wife and kids while getting dressed. Workout shorts and the shirt I wore to sleep seem like a pretty goo combo to me. I decide that I'll ride my bike for exercise and of course to explore. I like to revisit places I walk by or ride my bike by. It's something I have always done; Especially as a single soldier living in the barracks, walking was something I did daily. I didn't want to party or go to clubs or what have you. I liked to walk, think and observe the world around me. Walking by myself gives me plenty of time to pray and be introspective about my life and decisions. Well, at least now I prefer to be introspective rather than in the past being retrospective, mulling over mistakes and other decisions. Yes, nowadays I prefer to be more mindful of the present. I exercise this by, as I said, revisiting places and looking for something new each time. 
     Today I rode my bike past cadet land looking for a skunk. I was once again disappointed. I was rolling down a hill in a parking lot when I saw a service road that winded around the baseball complex. I took it and then another turn in the road led me to an opening in the trees. I found Johnson Cemetery #07. It reminded me of other ancient burial sites I had seen on Fort Benning. These were from the mid to late 19th century judging by the barely legible dates on two of the headstones. Of the 20+ grave sites only two had legible inscriptions on them. I take a few pictures and be as respectful as possible. The grass is very tall but it does appear that someone walks to a stump filled with potted plants quite often judging by the new soil, plants and path leading to it. After a google search I discover that there is nothing to be found on the internet about this site. That will have to change. On the way back I also discover a deserted mountain bike behind a connex. The owner seemed to have a spot of misfortune and cracked the very frame of the bike. What a sad day for him/her. 
 



     I take off to the commissary in my car to grab some essentials. I have a water bottle that I drink out of religiously while at work and most of the time while I am at home. It is a Yeti brand 34oz, vacuum insulated, stainless steel water bottle with a bunch of stickers on it and a twist top lid and three finger carrying handle. I love my water bottle. I fill it up and drink it 3-4 times a day depending on how strenuous the day is. Anyways, since I've been here on Knox I've only used it for the first day or two. On my first day of class I was informed that no one had lived in the barracks building I'm in for the past 3 months. So for three months the water in the pipes has sat and I'm sure some mold built up in the tap. confirmed mold built up in the toilet as it continues to appear in the bowl after each flush. On day one I filled up my bottle with tap water. This proved to be a mistake as my water bottle began to stink shortly after. After washing it and refilling, it still stank. My roommate bought a 40-pack of plastic water bottles and I resorted to drinking those. In the last 48 hours of drinking essentially nothing but bottled water I have gone through 17+ of his water bottles, which he says were for "us" but I still feel obligated to return them and then some. The commissary is very small compared to the one on Fort Bragg, but it has water bottles in bulk, lactose free milk and decaf tea so I leave satisfied. Carrying two packs of water bottles and two 2.5gal jugs of water up 3 flights of stairs is no fun. 
     I ride back to the DFAC and grab lunch to go. I ride back with food box in one hand and bike bar in the other. I get some looks along the way from my peers but they are probably jealous I can move 10 times faster. I eat and look up what I can find about the site. I find very little. I attempt to contact an archaeologist linked to the only reference of a Johnson cemetery on Fort Knox but she has passed on. It seems that much of the knowledge of this place has been lost to time. I work on a Wikipedia page to save what is left of it. I whip up a draft and will do some research later. 
     After lunch I take a rest on my bed and indulge in some semi-informational YouTube videos on cars and history. I get hungry and make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich like I've never had before: with sugar-free jelly. The ladies at the DFAC will hand us little single serving tubs of jelly upon request, which I do every time I go there. But as of the last few visits I've received nothing but sugar-free ones and the regular jelly has all been eaten. So I resigned to eating the sugar-free and was left with a sandwich which, while gratifying for hunger, wasn't up to par for the usual experience my taste buds enjoy with a normal PB&J. 
    Dinner was pork chops in mushroom sauce, pretty good actually. I ventured out for a quick walk after dinner. I was attempting to find a completely intact pecan and then I got stung by a mystery bug. Never saw what it was but it left a little welt on my arm. I waked back to the barracks, tail between my legs. 
    I shower and talk with my wife. Somehow she managed to put the boys down to sleep and they stayed asleep with our neighbors shooting off fireworks in the street. Thank the Lord they are sleeping thorough it all. Those boys are cranky and mean when they are woken up or don't sleep well. We talk and watch our live chicken cam on YouTube. It's not of our chickens but we've been watching it for awhile now. It's a very interesting cam. The chickens have names, on the sides of the screen it will scroll by with messages about the chickens and the contributors to the livestream. There is even an egg count widget that shows you how many eggs were collected and what colors they were. Most importantly, there is an option to donate money via the live chat, and when you donate money an automatic feeder is activated to feed the chickens some feed. If you donate more the $5 at a time, popcorn will shoot out of a tube instead of regular chicken feed! It is actually really funny to watch 5+ chickens scramble to get some popcorn. 
    I also waited all day to long on to the infamous 2b2t minecraft server. It took over 3 hours of waiting in the queue but I logged on. I played for all of ten minutes before dying and getting kicked off. I would now wait even longer to log back in so I call it a day. 

03 July 2020

3 July 2020

     Today I chose to get up rather late. Not actually getting out of bed until a few minutes before 7. I walk around the room in a fog when I see that my room's white floor fan is off. (Which is odd because I always sleep with a fan on or some other form of white/brown noise to drown out my tinnitus.) Then I vividly remember, at exactly 0319, I awoke to my fan making a noise as if it were off-balance and ready to rip itself apart. An exaggeration of course, this is, but it was still very annoying to have to deal with that at 0319 in the morning.
     I call my family to say my good mornings to everyone and then dive into a practice test. Which takes a great deal of my time. After I go to get some breakfast; I have the usual. (refer to previous post) I bring it back and video chat my family once again. My oldest boy has a fun time holding his mother's phone, which to him is of course me trapped inside, and plays his go-back game. A game that consists of him running down a hallway that leads into the living room from his room. He starts at his door and then runs as fast as he feels like towards the giant pillow/mattress thing in our living room. (It's about the size of a full mattress that is stuffed with crumb foam and is very cozy and soft.) Upon reaching said pillow/mattress thing he will hurl himself onto it and laugh very contentedly to himself and smile boyishly and his mother. His little brother will often join him in this game and will follow behind him. Only on a few occasions has the order been reversed; of course when this happens the older brother tends to land on the little brother causing somewhat of a ruckus.
    After chatting and breakfast is done I venture off to the town's academy outdoor store to fetch a new bike saddle and to the Walmart for a lamp for my bedside table. The excursion lasts much longer than I expect and I am very frustrated at how much drive time it was considering I traveled less than 22 miles. By the time I get back on Fort Knox it is time for lunch. On the way in through the main gate, I notice the Fort Knox Gold Vault. I think to myself that I will visit it later today on my bike.
     Later that day proved to be a failure in seeing the vault building. Kind of. I was expecting to maybe get within 100-200 feet and take a nice picture but alas, not only it impossible to get within about 300 meters of the building, but if you are caught taking any pictures the photographic device can be confiscated by the Fort Knox Vault Police. I after swapping saddles on the bike it was a 3 mile bike ride to the closest area I was allowed to be on. After arriving at the end of a closed of road, about 400 meters away, over a slight hill, I could see most of the first and all of the second story of the vault building. It was really nothing spectacular. The outside is just concrete that could use a power washing and there was a scaffolding erected on the side facing me. I probably could have gotten closer if I would have taken a little detour down the golf club cart roads but it was a busy day for golf and I, not wanting to run into any retired brass, decided to wait until maybe Sunday when the course will hopefully be closed. (Upon review, it doesn't normally close on Sundays but because Sunday this week is July 4th, I'll wager they are closed!)
     The ride there and back was pleasant enough thanks to the new seat, slow speed limits, and lots of nice houses/buildings where high ranking people work and live. It's actually quite astounding the difference in housing for a regular Joe who make $30k a year versus a general or a colonel who makes well over $200k a year. I get it, the general has many responsibilities and all but the generals house here (or what I assumed was his house since it was the biggest on command row) was essentially a brick mansion. It is past all the other commanders houses on 5th avenue. It is across the street from the other houses. On the other side of the street are more command houses. Not only his his house catty-corner to a 25 acre open field, the house itself is actually diagonally faced on the lot so the the front of the house faces the open field. It has a U-drive in the goes around the back of the house. Directly behind the house is another 10 acres or more of nicely mowed grass and large ancient trees. Were this house to be bought outside the gates of an Army installation it would probably run in the millions. A comparable house (Probably around 6+ bedrooms, over 3,000 square feet) in the closest city of Elizabethtown cost's $895k, and it is only on a one acre plot. 
    When I was an E-4, I lived in a "3" bedroom apartment on post with 1 full bathroom, a living room and a kitchen. All appliances were gas and older than me by at least a decade. The water heater was at least, and I do mean at least, from the 1970's. There was a small laundry room, that shared the water heater, and in this "laundry" room there were water and electric hook-ups. Sadly there was no dryer vent so I drilled a 4" hole through latex/lead paint (confirmed lead paint), and two layers of bricks and ran the vent tubing through there. This hole would also serve as the water out for the washer as well. For this first home of my wife and I, every month I paid $535 cash only to an old man behind iron bars. This apartment complex was actually on Fort Benning. It's called battle park, and to my knowledge is still there. On a satellite image of it I can see my car still parked next to my neighbors oil leaking red Ford Taurus. 
    Rant over. 
    I get to see my boys play outside with their water table. They love to be outside, and they love to play with water. It's a shame that they have red and blonde hair and skin that gets red just thinking about getting in direct sunlight. Thankfully they have long sleeve sun shirts, hats and a little sunscreen on to help. Putting sunscreen on two toddlers is no fun and it requires a bath to get off.
    I piddle around in my room most of the afternoon; chatting on and off with my family and doing laundry. The laundry room is neat and clean compared to most barracks complex laundry rooms. Normally there's a lot of lint, spilt detergent and general crap laying about. I do my part and empty the trash bin full of lint to the outside dumpster. My good deed towards our barracks community is done for the day. 
    Dinner for me is leftover beef bulgogi and asparagus. I eat the beef and rice, but after a few stalks of asparagus I pass on the rest. Just steamed and thin as cheap copper wire isn't a good combination for asparagus. I prefer my asparagus cooked in bacon grease on a spittin' hot pan. The meal is saved though with a piece of german chocolate cake, which is thick and delicious. So thick I have to save more than half of my slice in the fridge. 
    I spend around 30-40 minutes talking with my family and watching my boys do there usual pre-bedtime shenanigans of running, jumping and shrieking. I sure do miss them. My wife puts them down and I piddle around till she confirms they are asleep. I video chatted my wife while I took my evening stroll. There were lots of whitetail deer out this evening; many does with many more baby dears. Sadly I don't see the animal that I am looking forward to the most seeing here at Ft Knox. The coveted pole cat, also known as a skunk. I have never seen one in person and my wife claims they were all over the place every time she had to train here. After being in and around the area where she trained I have seen not one of these majestic creatures. I am highly disappointed. I did see dear and baby though.

    I shower, I chat with wifey, she goes to sleep, I write my blog post, and who knows what else I'll do. Probably meditate and then watch some youtube. Maybe read a little since I got a new bedside lamp. 

Recruiter School Day 3

      I once again managed to wake up and fall asleep several times within the 30 minutes before my alarm went off. I also snoozed more times than I care to admit. Nonetheless, I awoke, changed clothes, made my bed and was out the door with my workout sandbag before 0650, not bad. 
      The sandbag is one of those tube-ish black nylon bags with handles on it in various places. On the inside are a few smaller nylon bags that are packed with sand. The entire thing weighs something over 45lbs and isn't very soft, just in case you were wondering. Anyways, I throw this guy on my shoulders and walk at a brisk pace about a half mile down the road from the barracks. I come across a massive parking lot that at the far corner has some workout connex's complete with pull up bars. I won't do any pull-ups today but just being around them is good enough. There's a group of what appear to be more senior soldiers on the other side of the connex doing some sort of music led workout. I stay on my side and enjoy the electronic music while I throw my sand bag repeatedly over my head as high as possible, blasting off from the faded asphalt in an attempt to send this bag to the moon. It, of course, goes roughly about 1/84,092,800th  of the distance; That's a rough estimate based on me throwing it 15 feet skyward. I do this then some sit ups and more bag throws and then side raises, more bag throws and finish with a grueling 2-minute plank. One minute is too easy but it seems that every second after 60 is increasingly more difficult. I walk back doing a set of 10 lunges or air squats with my bag every minute as a timer on my watch goes off. It isn't fun, I sweat a little bit and am ready for water. I had placed a water bottle in my sand bag, but upon reaching the outside of the barracks building I threw my bag down (to rest a little before going up to the 3rd floor) and in the process busted my water bottle. I didn't actually know this until I picked up my bag, surprised to find it soaked. Classic.
    Breakfast will now be more consistent. I have a sausage patty, a biscuit, a scoop of squared/hashed potatoes, two boiled eggs, a can (yes a can) of apple juice, and a bagel. This breakfast keeps gas to a minimum during class and the bagel I save for in class in case I get hungry or tired. I eat and video chat with my family. It is great to see them all every day but it's a little pain full to see them and not be able to really interact with them. The double edged sword of long distance communication. Not that it would be any better if I couldn't talk to them, it's just seeing them emphasizes the feeling of longing to be with them and interact with them physically. 
     Class really wasn't bad today. Learning all about waivers for enlisting into the Army. I am surprised that some of the criminal waivers can have such high level of crimes and still be potentially signed off on. In some cases the sheer amount of criminal activity can also be waived. Based off of different crimes, timelines, and circumstances, plenty of people are allowed in with a rap sheet. The Army looks at the whole person, the surrounding circumstances and generally will give applicants a chance to explain themselves. Should the reviewing authority for the waiver find that the explanation/story meets up with the court/arresting documents and it all seems reasonable the applicant was either charged wrongfully, has moved on in life, or learned from the events than the waiver can be signed and the applicant can continue to process into the US Army. Great stuff. 
    We take a 20 question quiz after lunch. I score an 85, and feel bad. The feedback was immediate as the quiz was taken in class on the laptops provided. After discussing this score with a few members of my class I don't feel so bad anymore. The review of the quiz reveals the class average was a 71. I really don't feel bad anymore.
    After class I grab a to-go tray from the DFAC; beef bulgogi, (so they claim), rice and collard greens. I don't eat the collard greens because they made them spicy. One, I am not a fan of spicy collard greens. Two, I don't have any Tums to help with the heartburn that would follow eating such spicy collard greens. While eating I get to chat with my family again. My wife took some great pictures of my boys playing outside with some of their water toys. My boys LOVE to play outside. Once they are outside they never want to come back in. (Well, only very rarely, my oldest will ask to go back inside.) I view the pictures on a sharedrive we made to share with friends and family. It was one of the best ideas I've ever had, making that sharedrive. Instead of taking a picture and sending to one family member and then maybe another, all the while many other family members want the picture but they don't get one because I'm too lazy to group chat. The sharedrive allows me to invite only the people I want and I only have to upload the photo to the drive and once it's in there everyone on the list gets a nice little notification saying that I've added a cute picture of my boys. This allows all family members to smile with joy at the sight of my family simultaneously. Thanks google drive. 
     I take a little walk after dinner and meditate on some stairs about a half mile out. I also found a half a brick which I take back to the room with me. I like brick, leave me alone. I was also trying to locate a decent spot to put up my hammock for an evening relaxation but there really wasn't a good spot down the road I took. I'll just have to look tomorrow.
     I was, for some reason, much more tired than I usually am by 2100 and just laid in bed, talking with my wife until I was really just wanting to sleep. I still have trouble sleeping and I don't find it until closer to midnight. Thankfully tomorrow is a holiday!
     

01 July 2020

Recruiter School Day 2

     Waking up this morning was easy. Kind of. By that I mean I woke up an hour before my alarm and was feeling ready to get up. I really could have and been fine, but instead I attempted to sleep until my alarm went off. I did this but only after waking up several minutes apart a few times to be disappointed my alarm wasn't going off. I should have just gotten up when I first woke up.
     I dressed in all black PT clothes, put my hat on and went outside to warm up. I've read that doing static stretching before a run can actually increase injury rates so I have been doing more active warm ups lately. It's about room temp outside but really humid and no breeze. Perfect conditions for sweating profusely. Which I do after running 3 miles. I ran down past cadet land once again and made it to a solar farm on post. I pass a guy wearing a blue shirt who is running in the opposite direction. I hit a mile and turn back around. At 2 miles I have passed up the blue shirt guy. I run past two soldiers walking down the middle of the road. A large tanker truck rolls by them slowly on the road; the soldiers didn't give any ground. After blatantly walking through the middle of an intersection a truck stops and yells in a rather obscene nature for them to get out of the middle of the road. One of the soldiers promptly yells something of a similarly vulgar nature back. An exchange is made I can't hear. The truck moves on and the soldiers promptly pick up a run and get out of the road. here's the lesson, don't yell back at anyone driving an expensive truck on Fort Knox if you're rank doesn't end in anything less than 9. 
     I took a cold shower this morning, which was refreshing. I think I shall continue this trend. I skipped the scrambled eggs this morning at breakfast and went with two boiled eggs instead. The gas production today was minimal. 
     I video chat my family briefly before class. Class was literally reading over a regulation about being a recruiter. It was something that I found interesting and engaging. Some parts of it left me very confused because of the style of writing that Army regulations are written in, but the cadre were helpful in decoding the jargon. At the end of the day I leave the class feeling much more empowered about being at school; I feel that this course will actually benefit my abilities to recruit and handle the process.
     Dinner was fish again. I was denied the request to get baked chicken with my fish. Stingy DFAC rules only allow for one meat per customer. Not that I'm paying for it anyways. I mean, I guess I am paying for it with you know the hours, days months away from family, blood, sweat, tears and the occasional hair I'm sure I'm losing. 

     I am getting back to my room after buying a pair of slacks and a blue button down, long sleeve shirt; the only business casual clothes I own for now... maybe ever. I'm not a big fan of getting dressed up, for any reason. Anyways, I tried the clothes on and think it looks weird but I'll wear it tomorrow anyways. I'm not sure how many of my classmates will wear business casual but I'm wagering that most will instead of the much warmer uniform.
     I have an app that allows me to watch my living room and kitchen areas from my phone live. My oldest son sits on a big pillow in the floor of the living room. He's alone and getting precious time with his tablet; he is undoubtedly playing a game that involves baby shark or cars. I watch him and I miss spending this time with him. Even though I cannot see my wife, I know that she is putting my youngest boy to sleep right now in his room; a process that takes around 15 minutes. Usually this time is quiet time where my eldest and I will sit together in the living room while he plays his tablet. I usually will waste time playing something on my phone, reading the news, scrolling classifieds or looking up whatever comes to mind. The last few months though, I've often pulled out my phone and then immediately put it back in my pocket. I do this because I'm starting to think a little more in the moment. As a leader in the Army, it's hard to stay in the present unless you are in some sort of danger or conducting training. More often than not the admin work, which is most of a leaders day, revolves around filling out spread sheets, trackers, concept of operations worksheets, risk assessments or setting up training. All things that are in the future whether it's a week, month, several months, or tomorrow morning at 0500 this kind of work and planning takes up the vast majority of a leaders day. So the mindset to think of the future and less in the moment is almost hardwired into a leader. 
     I've found that mindfulness training like meditation or taking a purposeful break from phones or TV's is a great way to stay more in the moment when you want to. It would be impossible to stay in the moment at work, so instead I must resort to choosing when and when not to be consumed by the immediate few seconds in front of me. 
     Relating back to my boy, I've often in recent times taken my phone to my bedroom and put it on the charger; it's usually close to it's electronic death by the end of a work day. I do this because instead of reaching into my pocket for immediate answers or the relief of "boredom", I choose to stay more in moment and engage more with my family on a level that you simply can't achieve with a screen in your lap. I'm young still, 26, and I have two kids already. I'm 7 years into a career that I may retire from after 20 years. My current contract goes until my 11th year in the Army so there's no sense in giving it up now. Despite all the future ahead of me, my past is the majority of the driving factor for a change in my attention to the present. 7 years has flown by. My oldest son is almost 3, and it seems like just the other day he was a tiny baby. The past is gone, the future is in tomorrow, the present how ever is right now in your face and I think that being in the present more helps life seem longer; it can make time seem to tick a little more slowly. 
      Alot of this mindfulness and stress relieving stuff I have been doing is largely related to the behavioral health appointments I made in October of 2019. I was suffering from huge amounts of stress and it was starting to physically manifest itself with anxiety and other physical feelings. It freaked me out and I didn't like it at all to say the least. I'd never been the guy to get in touch with how I feel or how what triggers my stress or even how to get rid of it. That all changed in 2019. It will forever be known to me as the year I learned what stress and anxiety was and how I was going to fight it every single day. In a matter of years my life went from a care free single guy to a guy who had kids, two houses and the number 2 most stressful job in America. At least that's what Forbes said awhile back. The Army life isn't easy with a family, and it's even harder when you are both in the military. Even with my wife being in the National Guard and not working but 2 days a month and a few weeks each year it's still tough. From October 2019 to the end of February 2020 my wife had to go to training two states away. I still had my very full time Army job to do. My wife had to use more than half her paycheck to afford the babysitter that, thank the Lord, was able to watch our kids from 0530 until whenever I got home. Sometimes she even had to put them to bed I came home so late. Juggling all this and we moved houses towards the end of her training made for a very stressful time. It took every ounce of discipline to attempt to stay in the moment, breathe deeply and try not to let the thoughts consume me. 
       Several months down the road now I've become much more adept at handling stress. Becoming a recruiter is going to test my new found skills to the limits. I've accepted it for what it is. The silver lining is that I'm going back to my home town where my parents and brothers can help out with my kids if need be. I'll also never have to worry about deploying for the next three years. Not that deploying has been a worry really because I don't think I could get one if I landed in country with the way my Army career has gone.
     Anyways, I suppose I have rambled enough and gotten off topic. But I did kill some time and I feel that typing all this out and putting it out there gives me some form of relief. Maybe it's satisfaction. Both?